Well, I do not, for the record. Apparently, however, for months, my husband has thought that I do. Here's how I discovered this...
For about a year now, give or take, I have been homeschooling my children. It is challenging and fulfilling at the same time. (You cannot imagine my joy when I saw the light go on in my daughter's eyes the moment she finally understood the concept of reading a clock.) Make no mistake, though, it is quite an undertaking. Homeschooling two children, several years apart, different curriculums, is the equivalent, for me at least, of taking on two full time jobs. This is in addition to a SAHM's already endless list of duties.
Because of homeschooling during the day, I have found that my usual housework, shopping, etc., falls by the wayside. This has been problematic for me, as I cannot exist in chaos, and find myself doing work after I finally get the house to sleep. (Have I mentioned that both of my children are nocturnal, by nature, like their mother?). So there are nights when I do not hit the pillow till 3 or 4 am. I THOUGHT my husband knew this. He is an early riser, you see, even on weekends, so he usually goes to bed before me.
Last night, when my husband arrived home, I was having a particularly hectic day. The children were not in a learning frame of mind, to say the least...causing me to consider using crazy glue to keep them in their seats...is that frowned upon in the homeschooling community? So, much to his dismay, I used his arrival and obligatory "how was your day?" as an opportunity to unload on him.
I told him how the children were not cooperating, how dinner wasn't cooked, how the laundry had gone untouched, and how I had struggled through the entire day on only a few hours sleep. Now here's where our conversation went south...
His reply? "Well if you went to bed earlier, you'd be able to get up earlier. What are you doing till 4am anyway."
My initial response? Mouth agape...disbelief...silence....seething....hearing my own heartbeat in my ears....
I gathered myself enough to say"Remember when you went to bed last night and the sink was full of dirty dishes and the kitchen was a mess. Then when you got up, POOF, it was clean..."
He mumbled a frightened "uh, huh"
"That was me." I continued on, getting louder, as he backed into the kitchen counter, cornered, with no escape in sight. "...and what do you mean 'what do I do'? What do you think I do, wait until you go to bed so I can skype with George Clooney in private? Who do you think does the dishes? The dish fairy?"
Hubby's reply "Well, I'm just saying, if you got up earlier, you'd be able to..."
My left arm started to tingle. Is this what a heart attack feels like? Maybe I was having a stroke. "WHAT?!"
"What time do you think I get up?" He hesitated "Well, if you can stay up till 4am, you can't be getting up..."
"SEVEN THIRTY! EVERY MORNING! When I am up until 4am, it is not because I slept IN. It is because I am STILL going."
Now, you have to understand, I have been married over a decade. I like to think that my husband and I are fairly close, as spouses go, but for the last year, his job has required more hours than usual, as has my new role as teacher. Well apparently we were more far apart then ever. He assumed because I was up every night, that I was making up for the sleep in the a.m. He could not fathom that I had been existing in 3-4 hours of sleep a night. After all, how can anyone do that?
Hello!!! Have you been listening to me, at all? I had been telling him for months that I really couldn't continue this way. The lack of sleep has caused so many problems. Daily headaches, short tempered, crying jags. There are mornings that I get up where the day before, only a few hours ago, seems like a dream...foggy at best.
Our conversation was one for the records. I have learned that if I don't say it, he does not know it. I should not assume that he knows what I do or how I feel. All of these months, I have been, I must admit, a little resentful that he hasn't come to my aid. He does the occasional set of dishes, sure. For this, I know, I am lucky, in comparison to a lot of husbands out there. But he doesn't ask if I need help with school instruction, or the children. I have been waiting...and waiting. I was sure that he would see me struggling and jump right in. He, on the other hand, figured since I didn't come to him, that I had it well in hand.
I didn't. Lesson learned.
For about a year now, give or take, I have been homeschooling my children. It is challenging and fulfilling at the same time. (You cannot imagine my joy when I saw the light go on in my daughter's eyes the moment she finally understood the concept of reading a clock.) Make no mistake, though, it is quite an undertaking. Homeschooling two children, several years apart, different curriculums, is the equivalent, for me at least, of taking on two full time jobs. This is in addition to a SAHM's already endless list of duties.
Because of homeschooling during the day, I have found that my usual housework, shopping, etc., falls by the wayside. This has been problematic for me, as I cannot exist in chaos, and find myself doing work after I finally get the house to sleep. (Have I mentioned that both of my children are nocturnal, by nature, like their mother?). So there are nights when I do not hit the pillow till 3 or 4 am. I THOUGHT my husband knew this. He is an early riser, you see, even on weekends, so he usually goes to bed before me.
Last night, when my husband arrived home, I was having a particularly hectic day. The children were not in a learning frame of mind, to say the least...causing me to consider using crazy glue to keep them in their seats...is that frowned upon in the homeschooling community? So, much to his dismay, I used his arrival and obligatory "how was your day?" as an opportunity to unload on him.
I told him how the children were not cooperating, how dinner wasn't cooked, how the laundry had gone untouched, and how I had struggled through the entire day on only a few hours sleep. Now here's where our conversation went south...
His reply? "Well if you went to bed earlier, you'd be able to get up earlier. What are you doing till 4am anyway."
My initial response? Mouth agape...disbelief...silence....seething....hearing my own heartbeat in my ears....
I gathered myself enough to say"Remember when you went to bed last night and the sink was full of dirty dishes and the kitchen was a mess. Then when you got up, POOF, it was clean..."
He mumbled a frightened "uh, huh"
"That was me." I continued on, getting louder, as he backed into the kitchen counter, cornered, with no escape in sight. "...and what do you mean 'what do I do'? What do you think I do, wait until you go to bed so I can skype with George Clooney in private? Who do you think does the dishes? The dish fairy?"
Hubby's reply "Well, I'm just saying, if you got up earlier, you'd be able to..."
My left arm started to tingle. Is this what a heart attack feels like? Maybe I was having a stroke. "WHAT?!"
"What time do you think I get up?" He hesitated "Well, if you can stay up till 4am, you can't be getting up..."
"SEVEN THIRTY! EVERY MORNING! When I am up until 4am, it is not because I slept IN. It is because I am STILL going."
Now, you have to understand, I have been married over a decade. I like to think that my husband and I are fairly close, as spouses go, but for the last year, his job has required more hours than usual, as has my new role as teacher. Well apparently we were more far apart then ever. He assumed because I was up every night, that I was making up for the sleep in the a.m. He could not fathom that I had been existing in 3-4 hours of sleep a night. After all, how can anyone do that?
Hello!!! Have you been listening to me, at all? I had been telling him for months that I really couldn't continue this way. The lack of sleep has caused so many problems. Daily headaches, short tempered, crying jags. There are mornings that I get up where the day before, only a few hours ago, seems like a dream...foggy at best.
Our conversation was one for the records. I have learned that if I don't say it, he does not know it. I should not assume that he knows what I do or how I feel. All of these months, I have been, I must admit, a little resentful that he hasn't come to my aid. He does the occasional set of dishes, sure. For this, I know, I am lucky, in comparison to a lot of husbands out there. But he doesn't ask if I need help with school instruction, or the children. I have been waiting...and waiting. I was sure that he would see me struggling and jump right in. He, on the other hand, figured since I didn't come to him, that I had it well in hand.
I didn't. Lesson learned.
No comments:
Post a Comment